It's a morning where I should be feeling elated, relieved, and victorious. Instead, I find I'm battling with anger over Proposition 8 passing. No sadness or grieving... just straight out anger that my home State of California was duped by the rhetoric of fear (funded primarily from christian groups and individuals). I'd at least like to think that the good people of California were duped, as the alternative--that they truly believe people like myself and the millions of others in the GLBT community simply don't deserve equal rights--is a path I don't wish (emotionally or intellectually) to walk down.
All this talk of "America finally united," only fuels my pain. I stood in a crowd of hundreds last night on the streets of Oakland and watched the election results roll in. We all burst into screams and tears of joy as it was announced that Obama had secured the necessary electoral votes. Everyone I could see, Black, White, Asian, Latin, were shaking hands, clapping, and hugging. An African American woman next to me, tears rolling down her face, grabbed me by the arm as we all shouted cheers of, "Yes we can!"
As much as I wanted to be taken over by the moment (and believe me, it was a powerful, transcendent feeling last night) my own tears of joy were held back knowing that Proposition 8 would be a hard fight at the polls. My suspicions were confirmed when I got home and heard that Prop 8 support was leading. It continued the lead throughout the night, and this morning 52% of the vote showed support for Prop 8's passing.
It's still unclear what this means for the thousands of same-sex marriages performed over the past 6 months since the ban on gay marriage was found unconstitutional. In conversations with other angry friends over coffee, we talked about the stark incongruity that Californians could elect the first African American into the nation's highest seat of power yet in that same moment, touch a voting screen or mark a ballot card to deny other Californians of fundamental rights.
We played the blame game for a while. Why did SF Mayor Gavin Newsom allow his arrogance to play into the hands of Prop 8 supporters? The constantly running TV and radio ads of Newsom smugly announcing that same sex marriage is happening "whether you like it or not" played well in San Francisco, but enraged inland communities. And why didn't No on 8 supporters react more swiftly to the devious strategy that framed the proposition as safeguarding children from learning about same sex marriage in schools.
Prop 8 supporters tapped into some visceral fear that trumped any laid back, easy going, good life, California-esqe "live and let live" credo we all like to pretend we live under. They campaigned on a platform that "things will change if we don't pass this proposition." When in reality, the only change that would happen is if Prop 8 passes. It would strip GLBT Californians of rights. If Prop 8 went down, it would be business as usual. Gay marriage would not be mandatory instruction in schools, same sex couples could marry and be legally protected under state laws. Church steeples would not have crumbled to the ground, California would not have turned overnight into Sodom and Gomorrah, and packs of leather daddies and dykes on bikes would not have set up recruiting stations in every valley town.
I've now lived in three states--Massachusetts, Maine, and now California--where the long fought for rights for legally recognized equality for GLBT people has been won, briefly celebrated, then stripped away by out-of-state interests and funding and the machinations of over zealous religious groups preying on archaic fears. Massachusetts managed to defeat bigotry and fear and now remains the only US state to allow same sex unions. Last night saw California, Florida, and Arizona pass bans. But California's ban stings more profoundly because it marked the first time that voters rejected same-sex marriage in a state where it was already legal.
I know I'm supposed to keep my chin up and forge ahead. That's what civil rights supporters do. But I'm challenged today to find a shred of civility. I need to try to center myself in the "greater" good of President-elect Obama. Even though he himself does not support same-sex marriage, he may be able to seat new Supreme Court justices over the next four years. Justices whose constitutional interpretations aren't clouded by fundamentalist ideology and bigotry.